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When was the last time you reflected on the successes or challenges you’ve encountered in your business career? Why would this be a good practice to do often?
It’s simple. History always teaches us.
In sports, we watch game films to learn from mistakes we’ve made. Once we accept our mistakes, we can strive forward to fix those areas of our own “game.” These are ways people can foster, encourage and build a mindset of growth and learning.
Every time I reflect on my positive and challenging experiences throughout my business career, I stop and ask myself: “How have I stayed in business development for nearly 20 years with the same company?”
When I think of the steps I took to achieve different levels of success, I remember that my actions revolved around creating laser-focused clarity in my role and responsibilities. Spending time with the right people on the right task can help you achieve the right outcome.
Let me be honest, though: It was never easy. There have been times where I’ve questioned myself and my abilities. I relied on mentors and positive role models in my life to keep me focused. I made mistakes along the way that I thought I could never recover from, but I did.
However, successful times don’t always last forever. That’s why it’s so important to stay humble and value relationships. We must strive daily to win the respect of our colleagues and customers.
Here are three lessons I’ve learned through experience (history) to consistently achieve successful business and personal relationships.
1. Fundamentals never get old.
Fundamentals don’t usually excite people. They aren’t your silver bullet or the magic potion you’re looking for. They’re just the small things you do every day to become successful. Successful business entrepreneurs and top professional athletes often talk about fundamentals. One of my favorite Michael Jordan quotes states: “The minute you get away from fundamentals — whether it's proper technique, work ethic or mental preparation — the bottom can fall out of your game, your schoolwork, your job, whatever you’re doing.”
To my fellow business development professionals, I hope this speaks to you in the following ways.
Do you have a plan each day?
Do you have a list of prospects you'll be calling to build relationships with?
Do you prepare for each meeting to drive value to your customer?
Do you practice?
I believe you must do all these fundamental things. Otherwise, you can tell your customer you're excited to practice on them today, because you didn’t prepare for the meeting or phone call. Can you imagine the feeling your customer would have if they knew how unprepared you were?
2. Admit what you don’t know.
Own your gaps. People who pretend to know everything don’t usually build authentic relationships. Think back to the last time you purchased something from a salesperson. Were they inauthentic? Or did they say “I don’t know” at times and look for the answer?
Showing vulnerability can be one of the most powerful ways to build relationships.
It makes you real. And just like fundamentals, being vulnerable and showing your true self will probably never get old for the person you’re speaking with. One of my favorite Brené Brown quotes reads: "Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."
There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period. The darkness of being inauthentic may always prevent you from achieving the light of success.
3. Being genuine and friendly will never get old.
When was the last time you met someone and said, “They are just too nice? I don’t want to be around them.” The answer is probably "never!" Positive people seem to attract positive people, which creates positive experiences and outcomes. When we choose a negative mindset and let our situations affect how we react or make decisions, we only hurt ourselves and those around us.
I've found that friendly and strong relationships are at the root of every successful team. At the core of those relationships is trust, and without trust, you may never have a strong team. Building trust requires being the true “you,” which means admitting your gaps and treating people the way you want to be treated.
As Lance Secretan said: “Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart, and feet — thinking, saying, feeling, and doing the same thing — consistently. This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust.”
As you can see, there is no magic potion or secret to winning relationships. It will take consistent hard work, a positive attitude and the ability to make others around you feel respected and comfortable being at their best. This is the power of humility and authenticity at their best.
It’s your turn: What is a lesson or two that you’ve learned that others can glean wisdom from? How did you use that to learn and build stronger relationships in the future? Please share with your network.
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